Last week we talked about how to handle big emotions, and how to help yourself through them without having to distract yourself with doom scrolling or other habits you don't want. If you missed it, read the blog here.
Today, we’re talking about how this skill can help you gain confidence. When you learn how to sit with your emotions, help yourself through them, and not make them mean anything about you, you build confidence.
When we put ourselves out there as musicians and people whether it’s online or on stage, we run the risk of being rejected. Sometimes it’s literal rejection at an audition, or people just not liking what you’re posting online.
The worst thing that is going to happen in those situations are the feelings you’re going to feel. (read this again, let it sink in...)
If you don't get picked for the audition, that's just a fact. The thing we are afraid of is all the feelings that go along with the fact (because our brains like to take this fact and run with it). Example: shame, inadequacy, embarrassment, disappointment etc. Those are the things that make taking auditions difficult.
SO… If you get really good at processing emotions, all of these things feel less scary.
Once the feeling of rejection becomes a manageable emotion, you are able to put yourself out there so much more!
Because you have a process for the back end of the audition (or whatever you’re putting yourself out there for).
The back end process is where confidence is built. Once emotions don’t feel scary anymore and you’re willing to feel all of them, self-sabotage goes away also.
Truth bomb 💣 -- Have you ever not prepared as much as you know you could have for an audition, so just in case you don’t get picked you can know that it wasn’t truly the best you could do, therefore you won’t have to feel as bad? — this is some REAL talk, but I know I totally used to do this…
If you know you can FULLY put yourself out there and deal with the emotional consequences, you’re much more likely to practice thoroughly and actually do your best.
For a more in-depth look at confidence and how to build it for yourself using this process, and a few others, check out my DIY Confidence Course! - it’s free and it’s the map to creating confidence as you put yourself out there.
And the best part of all of this is: to practice this stuff, you have to do it by putting yourself out there and feeling these emotions.
💭 Imagine walking into any situation knowing that if you feel embarrassed, rejected, etc. you know how to deal with it and it's not going to be a big deal... That is TRUE confidence.
It is so crucial to learn these skills, and this isn’t something that’s taught in music school because these are things most humans in general don’t know! This is human stuff more than it is music stuff, but it will 100% dictate how you perform.
If you want to get a full preparation and back-end process for auditions that deal with your emotions, mental rehearsal (unlike you’ve done it before, GUARANTEED), and taking care of yourself on an emotional level so you don’t burn out, sign up for mindset coaching immediately.
Schedule a preliminary call to get started! - They’re 45 mins on Zoom.