This stuff should be Kindergarten curriculum. We aren’t taught how to feel our emotions in a healthy way, and most of the time that’s because the adults in the room didn’t have this emotional intelligence either.
Today I’m giving you a 5-step process for allowing and processing emotions. The alternative to this is looking to outside quick fixes like distracting ourselves by scrolling, eating in excess, drinking, or fill in your vice here…
Let’s say you experience a wave of anxiety, this is totally normal. It’s a human emotion, meaning it’s a vibration that’s felt in the body. It isn’t a problem, it’s just happening, it doesn’t mean anything about you.
Emotions are felt because our brain is interpreting the world around us every second of every day and all of our thoughts and feelings are based on everything we’ve ever experienced, genetics, how we were socialized, our culture, etc.
That being said, emotions affect how we live our lives, and how we experience everything. They affect everything we do, so managing them will literally change your experience, and you’ll feel more in control.
Okay, here we go. Let’s say you are experiencing anxiety, what do you do?
Name it - I’m a human experiencing anxiety
Describe it - I’m feeling tightness in my chest, my throat is closing, I’m feeling tingling in my arms, and my breathing is more frequent and shallow. (because that’s what is physically/actually going on)
Choose to feel it - I’m choosing to let this feeling be here for as long as it needs to be.
Self Soothe - It’s going to be okay - Put your hand over your heart, breathe deeply, and be your own best friend in this moment. This moment of anxiety will pass.
Repeat until feeling dissipates
So, when an emotion comes up, this is what it’s like to hold space for yourself, to be with yourself when you’re going through a hard time.
This is TRUE self-care. If you can get good at feeling big emotions and helping yourself through them, you’ll gain so much confidence! Because the worst thing that happens in almost any situation is just how you’re going to feel after the fact. And if you can handle that, imagine what you could do… 🤯
All of a sudden new things seem less scary, because you know how to handle these big emotions, you know they’re just a feeling in your body that will pass if you allow them.
When should you use this process? Whenever you're feeling a big emotion.
Some examples include anxiety, shame, sadness, embarrassment, etc.
Emotions are one-word things. Saying "I feel like it didn't go well" - "it didn't go well" isn't an emotion, that's a thought that is causing the painful emotion you're feeling. If you want to gain more insight into what emotions you're feeling but don't have the vocabulary to do so, download my free list of emotions!
When you download the list, you'll get the 5-steps as well to print out and take with you when you think you may have big emotions come up!
I wish you greater ease as you process some big feelings ❤️
All my best,